July 2011
13 posts
2 tags
“Ignoring the logistical flaws in that supposition, the only reason I give old...”
– Julianne Smolinski kills it in this GQ piece. The entire thing is a quote.
(via drinkyourjuice)
BEHOLD THE WISDOM OF THE AGES.
June 2011
51 posts
3 tags
3 tags
novazembla:
Are You That Somebody — Aaliyah
...
3 tags
List of nicknames of United States presidents
citationneeded:
Chester A. Arthur
Full name: Chester Alan Arthur
Gentleman Boss, as the dapper leader of New York State’s Republican party.[81]
Prince Arthur,[82] and The Dude President[82] He was renowned for his fancy attire and indulgence in extravagant luxury
Walrus[82] for having strange looking facial hair (mostly touted by children)
Link (Thanks, Peter K)
Have I told you all yet...
2 tags
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
Literal White People Problems
boobsradley:
- being higher in starch than whole wheat people - showing dirt more easily than plaid, floral, or Aztec-patterned people - having feet after Labor Day - getting hit by cars in snow storms - glowing in laser tag arenas - sunburn
superactually-deactivated201202 asked: You should find some of your favorite poignant father son glances on youtube and send me the links and then choose a song and i will make a montage. It will be a hit. (A Smash-Hit.)
2 tags
Signs Your Man May Be Cheating
While you’re getting hot and heavy in the bedroom, he accidentally calls out the name of a horse racing tip.
When you try to talk to him about the future of your relationship, a bunch of aces fall out of his sleeve.
You notice text messages on his phone that appear to be answers to next week’s chemistry test.
He seems distant and defensive when you question him about the extra cash...
2 tags
novazembla:
sophia—nicole:
tweenysomething is not going to happen around here. if you buy me some lisa frank stickers and lipsmackers, it had better be for a 90s themed party and not because you think i might like it because “we’re tweenysomething years old and it’s fun and ooh we’re giggling now!” no, i’m a grown ass woman. it’s just more cfwg twee infantilization play pretend forever youth...
1 tag
2 tags
“Fame is such a weird and distorting thing. I’ve thought a lot bout it, and...”
– Gwyneth Paltrow explains Gwyneth Paltrow in Live From New York
hypocritelecteuse asked: Hey man, if you wanted to write comparative reviews of
1) Brian de Palma's Carrie and Disney's Tangled, and/or
2) Avatar (and other white savior movies) and Tootsie,
it would be a dream come true for yours truly.
A DREAM COME TRUE.
1) Brian de Palma's Carrie and Disney's Tangled, and/or
2) Avatar (and other white savior movies) and Tootsie,
it would be a dream come true for yours truly.
A DREAM COME TRUE.
Anonymous asked: On a scale of 1 to 10 how cold do you like your water?
3 tags
Anonymous asked: Hey - it's Chris (@mstcambot) and I have no Tumblr to log into. So I'll take up one of your suggestions - I want you to tell me how to live my life. I'm in a rut - anxious, no direction, etc. My Magic 8-Ball is broken and my Ouija board is long gone, so I'll ask for your advice. Tessa - tell me how to live.
-Chris
-Chris
2 tags
3 tags
Like the Spice Girls, I invite you to tell me what... →
Hello friends. It’s me, your pal, Tessa Strain, writer of blogs, tweeter of tweets, owner of not one, but three wristwatches. I would like to invite you now to do something that I suppose has always been an option for you to do, but we’re making it official. Not internet official, real official.* There’s a notary public sitting beside my as I write this.** Her name is Cheryl, and...
1 tag
2 tags
@replies I sent on Twitter today that were in...
“I’ll fight ‘til I’m dead! Or kind of hungry!”
“I think I just read comedy and frustration into everything.”
2 tags
1 tag
2 tags
Things I struggle with
giving people the benefit of the doubt
lettuce
2 tags
“This is the second time that January Jones has been cast in 1962 opposite an...”
– IMDb trivia page for X-Men: First Class. Try and find a more interesting fact in the whole wide Internet. (via doctornecessiter)
Spoiler Alert!
(via idontgetrunnershigh)
1 tag
rosalarian:
I think the reason I most dislike the DC reboot putting all the women in pants is that it seems like DC thinks that’s all it takes to eliminate sexism in comics. It seems they think the equation is “Women - pants = sexist, therefor women + pants = not sexist.” I don’t know if that’s their actual mindset, but that’s how it looks to me. And while it is (kind of) a step in the right...
2 tags
Yesterday my boyfriend asked me the question I've...
“OH MAN, HOW GOOD WOULD A JOHN LITHGOW/JAMES FRANCO BUDDY COMEDY BE?!”
1 tag
1 tag
2 tags
2 tags
“i dislike the idea of resort for several reasons. first off, it is displays a...”
– Poontraub Versus Paris: i have beef with the idea of resort/cruise collections. yes, beef.
Kate has been writing some super-sharp fashion criticism lately.
2 tags
“I’m gonna have my Lady Card fucking laminated, because I only like horror...”
– Christina sends me the best emails.
2 tags
3 tags
“Now, female leads are clumsy dodderers. Screw-ups. Girl-babies. Teri Garr’s...”
– via klausnerama
Julie Klausner’s recent post also expresses similar sentiments. The bell has tolled for self-deprecation.
As someone who is kind of a fuck up, I have had trouble putting my finger on why I get so annoyed by the breadth of self-deprecation in the media. I think the thing...
2 tags
4 tags
1 tag
2 tags
“Look, you know when kids line their toys up on the shelf, ostensibly for a roll...”
– Geoff drew my attention to this damning metaphor amypoodle of the Mindless Ones uses to describe Geoff Johns’ Flashpoint series. I haven’t been reading it—this is pretty much why.
Climbing the Joshua Tree
seabeds:
I remember once I tried to get into U2 because the guy I was dating and in love with or whateversomethinglikethat had a sister who really liked U2. And he once did a whole set of U2 covers with the band he played drums in as a special thing for her birthday. And she loved it. And she had seen them live like, three times. And she had all the albums and a few records even though she...
3 tags
Good Names for Pets (according to me)
novazembla:
Boswell
Margo
George
Eleanor
Magnus
Lulu
Sedgwick
Sebastian
Lois Lane, Girl Reporter
Raskolnikov
Marzipan
Domino
Nick and Nora
Abelard and Heloise
Simone
Nero
Virgil
Falstaff
Marlowe
Archy
Camilla
Milo
CO-SIGNED. My friends know what is good.
4 tags
In which I've never met a hipster joke I liked
Hipster humor is inherently flawed because there are only two types of hipster jokes: those made by people who aren’t hipsters and those made by people who are.
The people who aren’t hipsters can’t make a hipster joke worth a damn because they don’t have a clue in hell about hipster culture. Blah blah blah blah ironic t-shirts. What?! Ironic t-shirts? Really? When was the...
1 tag
“I’m very into dressing older than one is right now, and dismissing men not...”
– Julie Klausner, the emerald fire of my inbox. (via natashavc)
3 tags
3 tags
2 tags
Watchnovazembla:
The stand-up from the first episode of Louie. “Maybe something nice will happen!”
Louis C.K. is the sentimentalist’s cynic.
2 tags
1 tag
New innovations in the "blank of blank" descriptor
the Stephen Baldwin of stamp collections
the James Mason of just hanging out or whatever
the Nora Barnacle of soccer cleats
the Lou Reed of filo pastry
the Peter Sellers of sexting
the George Eliot of dentistry
the Ira Glass of decorative sconces
the Clive Owen of what are you doing
the Nancy Drew of fine whiskeys
the Matt Kemp of assisted living
the Eva Gabor of being there when you...
