I could retire on this one.

I could retire on this one.



Your October HORRORSCOPES for 2014

See 2012 here.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

An important month for matters of the heart—the still-beating, noisily throbbing heart of the man you buried alive in your walls. Avoid contact with authority figures, and don’t forget to treat yourself! This is a great time to invest in a larger purchase, such as a new sound system for your home. Or legal counsel.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Take some time to reconnect with an old friend. Hell, reconnect with a few of them! You’ve got a sewing kit handy, right?

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

You’ve been in a holding pattern for most of the year, Gemini, but you will finally have the opportunity and the energy to focus on your apparitions. Aspirations! Ha ha! Aspirations. Whoops. What an embarrassing typo.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Enjoy the fall by logging some time outdoors, feeling the crunch of leaves and bone fragments under your feet. Yes, the crunch of leaves. Just leaves. Only regular autumn leaves.

Leo (July 23-August 22)

Enjoy the nightlife this month, Leo! Opportunities to meet new and exciting people lurk behind every dark corner and broken window and ajar door and creaking basement staircase…

Virgo (August 23-September 22)

You’ve been busy in both your personal and professional lives, Virgo, and it’s time to take a step back and devote some attention to your family, somewhere cavernous and secluded, where no one can impinge on your your quality time or hear their screams.

Libra (September 23-October 22)

Expect this month’s difficult beginnings to resolve by the 11th, a red-letter day, soaked with blood.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

Destiny is calling your name this month, Scorpio! Over and over, at all hours of the day and night. It has to be destiny, right? After all, it’s not like there’s anyone else in this house!

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

October will be the perfect time for you to try new things and embrace the unfamiliar. Your significant other’s eyes definitely always looked like that! And so what if they can’t remember the nickname they’ve called you for years!

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

Take the time to sort through your attic and closets and donate some of the things you aren’t using. Somewhere out there is a little girl who will love that beautiful, antique porcelain doll with the cracked face, who never seems to be where you last left her.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18)

If you’ve been thinking about finding a new place to live, you’re too late. The house has you now.

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

The year may be winding down, but don’t worry, Pisces! These last few months will give you a head start on pursuing your dreams…

…lest they start pursuing you first.

Anonymous said: no wonder lgbt themed movies aren't done and the rare ones that do are only watched and awarded by lesbians and AfterEllen YOUR comment on Blue is proof of how dim some are You know what made Blue win the Palme d'Or and Awards Worldwide Kechiche and Seydoux being Awards Winners Seydoux is called the new Cotillard & the best French actress for years now and has proven herself already;on worldwide critics list to win an Oscar rumored to be the new Bond Girl and when you get Adele it becomes magic

This is what happens after you make a joke about changing the name of Blue Is the Warmest Color to Sad Spaghetti Movie

dangagliardi said: What is my favorite month? You don't have to say why.


apkr said: What is your favorite month and why?

October, because it represents the true end what I once called the miserable steeplechase of summer* after September, which is invariably a month of leftover heat and disappointments at your failure to really get all the mileage out of summer you should have. Summer’s like a metaphor? About youth? Riiiight??? At least a million poets will back me up on this one.

But autumn. Dang. Pre-Halloween autumn when the weather is actually obligingly crisp is a delight. I love sweaters and horror movies and candy corn and school supply season, especially since I don’t have to go to school anymore. I am Mr. Autumn Man. I am at my happiest and most insufferable. My teeth are lodged in a caramel apple, possibly forever.

*I’m coming around on summer. Sort of. It has things I like. Baseball and popsicles. I finally got a decent pair of sandals, so.

designislaw said: is day drinking in prospect park the most brooklyn-y date ever or what

Can’t believe someone would put a yes or no question in my ask box, smh.

The living end.

The living end.

iamdavidbrothers said: Hey Tessa, I like when you write things, whether it's serious or humorous. I know you had a fraught relationship with writing in the past. What do you appreciate or get out of writing now that you didn't, or maybe avoided, when you were younger? What's the appeal for you?

Writing is definitely something I had a weird hang-up about when I was younger. Part of it was that it had always came easily to me, so I took it for granted. Part of it is that it was the main thing I was praised for, when I wanted attention for other things (most of which I wasn’t as skilled at), and I felt that I was being pressured into defining myself as a writer at the expense of anything else. And part of it is that my dad is a screenwriter, so there was sort of this The Family Business baggage attached to it, and I was really hell-bent on carving out my own place in the world.

I think college is the first time I really started to write for pleasure, like, outside of journals detailing my disappointing teenage life. A weird thing about me, relative to people my age, is that I grew up without a lot of access to the internet, so I had a very utilitarian relationship with the internet. And then all of a sudden I have virtually unlimited access and a lot of time to myself, and that’s when I really started reading blogs and internet writing, and it kind of opened up a whole other world for me. Mind you, at the time I still considered myself an actor first, last, and forever, so when I started blogging, it was this low stakes hobby. Like, I could write and use all of those skills I’d developed in academic writing but in a more frivolous context, so that was really exciting to me. And gradually it became something that I really came to love doing and started to take pretty seriously.

I kept up that momentum pretty well after college, and it helped that I got a lot of positive attention for it, including from people whose work I really respected (you included!). But at the same time, my life was kind of stalling. I was living with my parents, I was working a series of financially and spiritually unrewarding jobs (eventually I landed a job I loved, working at my local comic book shop, which was a lifesaver), I was in a long distance relationship. And around this time I started to put more pressure on myself with regard to my writing, and it became harder and harder to do. And after moving to New York, it got even more difficult. I was in a weird, transitional period, and nothing was really coming easily anymore.

What really ended up making a difference for me was when I started collaborating on a screenplay with Aubrey Bellamy, who I had met on Twitter and had gradually become a good friend of mine. For one thing, it helped a lot to be accountable to someone; it meant shit was getting done whether I felt inspired that day or not. There was also just a natural chemistry there, and writing and communicating with Aubrey felt effortless (still does! we’re working on another). Those kinds of collaborative relationships come once in a blue moon, and I count myself really lucky to have found that. It offers a really nice balance to writing alone, where it’s often easy for me to get stuck in my head (or up my own ass, as the case may be).

The other aspect was that, for whatever reason, I was able to be less precious about screenwriting. Essay writing for me had always been a matter of channeling these wild ideas, and I had to do it in one sitting, and it was nearly impossible for me to edit clearheadedly. Very ~emotional~ process. But screenwriting was something that I knew how to approach analytically, because I had grown up reading my dad’s screenplays and hearing his pitches, and giving him notes, and in general getting this incredible education on cinematic structure without really intending to. And being able to turn to him for guidance and mentorship was great, too. Plus, movies and TV have always been huge for me. Weirdly, I had always been afraid of “storytelling” and fiction in general, but it’s become something that I really enjoy now. It was a natural transition that I’d fought for a really long time.

So overall, there was this process of learning to take something that I was able to do kind of by the grace of god and relearning how to do it through hard work and discipline. Which was, unsurprisingly, really difficult. But man, has it ever been worth it. I get so much joy out of both the process and the result, and I spend most of my time thinking about how to do more of it. And screenwriting, even though it has taken away time from blogging and essay writing, has kind of brought the fun back into that by removing the pressure to Make My Name doing it. Although, hell! Who knows.

casualsplendor said: If you could only save five films for humanity, what would they be and why?

I’m not very globally literate in film, so I should probably not be in charge of saving films for all of humanity! Man, even thinking about this question stresses me out; I keep imagining torches and pitchforks as humanity rises up to hold me accountable for my shitty choices of the Last Five Films Available to All of Humanity. Idk, I’d probably just panic and pick Clueless five times. Sorry, humanity! I’m terrible!!!!